As a first-time mum, my journey with tackling chores and cleaning up has been quite the rollercoaster. In the beginning, I struggled to find a balance between keeping our home tidy and attending to my daughter’s needs. However, I quickly realised that when my little one cries or becomes clingy, I need to put her first. It’s still a challenge at times, and I constantly remind myself that all chores come second – my daughter is always the priority.
Research has shown that the transition to motherhood can have a “traditionalising” effect on the division of household labour. I found this to be true in my own experience, as I took on a larger share of housework and childcare duties. However, I’ve learnt that it’s crucial to adapt and find strategies that work for both my child and me.
The first few months were undoubtedly messy and disorganised. Our home was far from tidy, but I’ve gradually learnt to navigate this new reality throughout the year. I’ve discovered ways to keep my child occupied while slowly tackling cleaning tasks. It’s been an on-and-off process, with seasons where I couldn’t get anything done, so I learnt to let go and make peace with it. Acceptance that not everything will get done has been key to maintaining my sanity!
In those early months, wearing my daughter in a baby carrier was my go-to solution for getting things done. However, as she grew, her preferences changed, and she no longer wanted to be in the carrier. I then tried providing toys to keep her occupied, which worked sometimes but not always. As she started walking, it gave her more freedom, but she still wanted to be with me.
That’s when I began involving her in the process. Research suggests that involving children in household tasks at an early age can have positive impacts later in life. Although this approach works well most of the time, there are instances where it creates more mess or slows down the work. But I’ve learnt to embrace the process and focus on the long-term benefits.
For instance, a study by Child Development Institute notes that children who participate in household chores develop important life skills and a sense of responsibility.
Involving my daughter in household chores has been incredibly beneficial for both of us. Here are some of the key advantages I’ve observed:
Builds Confidence: Completing tasks and contributing to the household can boost a child’s confidence and self-esteem. They feel proud of their accomplishments and more capable of handling challenges.
Develops Responsibility: By participating in household tasks, children learn to take responsibility for their actions and contribute to the well-being of the family. This sense of responsibility can translate into other areas of life, such as school and personal relationships.
Enhances Life Skills: Chores help children develop essential life skills like cooking, cleaning, and time management. These skills are crucial for independence and self-sufficiency as they grow older.
Fosters Teamwork and Cooperation: Working together on chores encourages teamwork and cooperation within the family. It helps children understand the value of collaboration and mutual support.
Promotes Emotional Intelligence: Involving children in chores can help them develop emotional intelligence by teaching them empathy and understanding for others’ efforts. They begin to appreciate the hard work that goes into maintaining a home.
The Joy of Connection While Doing Chores Together
One of the most unexpected yet wonderful outcomes of involving my daughter in household chores is the connection we’ve developed while working together. As we tackle tasks side by side, we share moments of laughter, conversation, and mutual support. It’s not just about getting the job done; it’s about creating memories and strengthening our bond.
During these moments, I’ve noticed that my daughter is more engaged and attentive. She learns new skills and feels proud of her contributions. This quality time together has become a highlight of our day, allowing us to connect on a deeper level beyond just playtime or mealtime. It’s a reminder that even in the midst of chaos, there is beauty in the everyday moments we share with our children.
Now that my daughter is one year old, I’ve developed a few strategies. I let her play in her own kitchen area or explore designated kitchen cupboards while I work. If time allows, I involve her in tasks with me. The key is always giving her choices and respecting her autonomy, which has made things easier. Her Lovevery kitchen set has been a game-changer, keeping her occupied with water play while I tackle other chores.
When it comes to cooking, I prefer to have her help with preparation, and so far, she’s always been eager to join in. For cleaning, her involvement varies depending on what catches her eye. If I need to clean the kitchen quickly, I’ll give her a whole apple to eat, which keeps her occupied for ages. Some tasks I prefer to do alone when she’s asleep at night, but she’s mostly involved in house chores.
I’ve learnt that timing, mood, and energy all play a part in how we approach chores together. While involving her helps develop important skills, I also recognise the need to be flexible and adjust based on our collective needs. Prioritising her learning and offering her the chance to participate before deciding how to tackle house chores has become my go-to approach.
This journey has taught me that the “traditionalising” effect of motherhood doesn’t have to be limiting. By involving my daughter in household tasks, I’m not only getting things done but also teaching her valuable life skills and fostering a sense of responsibility. It’s a constant learning process, but one that’s ultimately rewarding for both of us.